So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
