went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He shit in the fireplace
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
