4 words: hood of his car
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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