chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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