i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
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I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
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dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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