Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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