I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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