Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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