Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
