She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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