he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
