Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize