I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
