i don't like sucking hair
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
