So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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