we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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