I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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