i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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