Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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