If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
