I want to have your abortion
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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