im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
