Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize