its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
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I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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