one two three fourrrrnication!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it was like having sex with a tree stump
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Randomize
