Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
