i just had sex bonerless
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
