I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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