This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
