wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i think i scared a bird with my dick
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
