Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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