my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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