If i come over, it means nothing
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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