I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Randomize
