I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My vagina is officially offended.
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