how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
