oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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