id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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