I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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