problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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