Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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