barbara walters just said penis...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
