He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
