it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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