I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
