For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
