i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
