just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
