I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
