they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
