Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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