On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You left your phone here
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